I seem to be always writing about myself, my dear readers?
I hope someone who may read what I write will understand that these adventures contain a great deal about me. I would have you to know that since I was a little girl indeed, I seldom dared to open my heart to anybody else except to my readers. You will always be a lucky person at all as long as you are my reader.
The adventure of my practicing Sunlun way of Vipassana Meditation in the memories of my childhood was not as smooth as silk. But I never felt ashamed to recall my memories, and write down openly to my readers.
My Childhood Memory
Our Venerable Monk - Sunlun Sayadaw U Vinaya
(1914, 5th August Wednesday - 2012 6th October Saturday)
(Sayadaw at 59 years of monkhood.)
Sunlun Sayadaw U Vinaya (Former Head of Kaba Aye Sunlun Gu Kuyaung Meditation Centre, 7th Miles) showed us how to practice meditation for total 100 minutes; 50 minutes for breathe hard, and another 50 minutes for keeping full mindfulness in pain that would happen during meditating until the time completed.
(I tried my best in the practising meditation since my childhood.)
(Drawing credit - Maung Yit)
Too hard for the beginner, especially for children but by the guidance of Venerable Monk, Sayadaw U Vinaya, the time seemed to pass quickly. Later, I came to realize that it was different between practice meditation at home, and practice meditation at the monastery. At home, time seemed to pass slowly. That’s why we tried to go and do meditation at the Sunlun Vipassana Meditation Centre. 100 minutes without changing position, and keep sitting still was not very easy for a child like me. So, there were many ways I planned to pass the time of meditation.
I considered how to pass the time as quickly as possible during meditation. At first, I recited Words of Buddha’s Teaching or some Pali Language from Buddha’s Teaching in my mind one after another during meditation. I counted how many times of reciting in the mind would cover the complete duration of meditation. I kept my mind busy. But it did not work in the real state.
I had thought of all by turns; counting numbers one after one, wandering the fall of rivers or winds or seas, listening to the footsteps of Sayadaw and meditation master, the sound of rains and air, birds twittering, dogs barking, people chatting or I thought again what I was going to do next, and yet do not succeed. Later, I gave up all those methods.
Changing Plans
('Oh my goodness! There is only a minute left!)
(drawing credit- Maung Yit)
During meditation I opened my eyes to look at the clock hung in front of me to see how much minutes left. One day, when I opened my eyes, unluckily I met Sunlun Sayadaw U Vinaya’s watchful eyes. I felt ashamed of myself although Sayadaw did not say anything. I decided that I would NEVER, Never looked at the clock again. Later, I changed the plan. I do not look at the clock again, but I placed my hand in the position where my wrist-watch wore. It's easy to see if my head was in a downward position. I moved a little bit to comfort the pain on my leg. It relieves my pain. But later I realized that changing position made my body more pain. All those methods did not always succeed.
By using all the methods I could not win thee.
At Nearly Present
Days and years passed.
We visited the Sunlun Monastery for offering yellow robes, or sometimes on some special purposes. The head of Kaba Aye Sunlun Gu Kuyaung Meditation Centre, Sayadaw U Wara always welcomed us and reminded us to do meditation regularly. By His advice, I had a chance to visit Mingyan, Upper Burma, to pay respect to the Former head of Kaba Aye Sunlun Gu Kyaung Sayadaw U Kivi whose body still lay as on the day he died more than sixty years ago.
(Former Sunlun Sayadaw U Kavi (1878 March 4 Monday - 1953 May 6 Saturday))
(The head of Kaba Aye Sunlun Gu Kuyaung Sayadaw, U Wara.)
(Sunlun Vipassana Meditation Campus.)
If Life goes well and smart,....
Although we visited to the Sunlun Gukyaung Monastery and paid respect to Sayadaw U Wara, we rarely do meditation at the monastery. We were too busy to go and do meditation there. Of course, we do not need to do meditation at the monastery if our life was going well and smooth.
If I needed to meet something important, before then I do meditation for a few minutes at home for having my mind clear and fresh. If I had to go somewhere far away from home, I did meditation before the visit for having the safe-and-sound trip. That’s the way we do not forget to do meditation whenever we had to do something special and important. We do not consider go and do meditation regularly at the monastery. It remained unchanged until our life became severely beaten; until my mother left us.
Mom, ... "Just as you were, just are we;
Just as you are, just we will be." (Anonymous -credit.)
My mother passing took all my pride. Now I had nothing to be proud of.
Two Years Ago and At Present
(.............................................the good,
...the bad.............................................,
...............and ...the ugly........................)
They may come and they may go, but I go on forever.
(Sunlun Vipassana Meditation Campus.)
If Life goes well and smart,....
Although we visited to the Sunlun Gukyaung Monastery and paid respect to Sayadaw U Wara, we rarely do meditation at the monastery. We were too busy to go and do meditation there. Of course, we do not need to do meditation at the monastery if our life was going well and smooth.
If I needed to meet something important, before then I do meditation for a few minutes at home for having my mind clear and fresh. If I had to go somewhere far away from home, I did meditation before the visit for having the safe-and-sound trip. That’s the way we do not forget to do meditation whenever we had to do something special and important. We do not consider go and do meditation regularly at the monastery. It remained unchanged until our life became severely beaten; until my mother left us.
Mom, ... "Just as you were, just are we;
Just as you are, just we will be." (Anonymous -credit.)
My mother passing took all my pride. Now I had nothing to be proud of.
Two Years Ago and At Present
We did not know how to live without her. For us, time does not fly. By the suggestion of my brother (who was at that time temporary monk at Sunlun Monastery), we decided to go to the Sunlun Meditation Centre and do meditation once per week, or twice per week, then later we try to do every morning there. Our mind would never be normal if we do not make this decision. Sunlun Vipassana Meditation save our lives.
At first, because of long-time missing of practicing meditation, it was hard and unbearable. It looked like I was in the beginner. I thought the pain in my body would burn my skin. But I did not care the pain. As Sayadaw said I do not avoid my pain. I had no intention to change position or open my eyes. Here, I was not interested in the pain any more. I knew that those pain could not compare with the pain in my heart. I recalled what Sayadaw U Wara said; if we tried to be patient for three days of doing meditation (once or twice per day) at the Sunlun Meditation Centre, we could have make a choice (to be, or not to be!) to go on, or to stop.
Someone says that I looked calm and peace during my sitting, but they did not know my heart was burning inside. My outer appearance might be peaceful and quiet in the sitting, but they would never know my mind was raging like a storm.
At first, because of long-time missing of practicing meditation, it was hard and unbearable. It looked like I was in the beginner. I thought the pain in my body would burn my skin. But I did not care the pain. As Sayadaw said I do not avoid my pain. I had no intention to change position or open my eyes. Here, I was not interested in the pain any more. I knew that those pain could not compare with the pain in my heart. I recalled what Sayadaw U Wara said; if we tried to be patient for three days of doing meditation (once or twice per day) at the Sunlun Meditation Centre, we could have make a choice (to be, or not to be!) to go on, or to stop.
Someone says that I looked calm and peace during my sitting, but they did not know my heart was burning inside. My outer appearance might be peaceful and quiet in the sitting, but they would never know my mind was raging like a storm.
(.............................................the good,
...the bad.............................................,
...............and ...the ugly........................)
They may come and they may go, but I go on forever.
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