('Touch- Awareness- Mindfulness', 'Sunlun Gukoung Vipassana Meditation Monastery.')
I fell ill one day in the month of February of 2020. My brother said it was because I ate some food outside and it was not good or their salads might not be clean enough. Firstly I thought I might catch a cold. When I vomited all the foods I ate and my stomach could not accept hard foods, I realized that I was in the state of food poisoning.
I was feeling miserable in my bed. Although I was in a fever, I was very hungry. But I could not eat. My aunt suggested that I should have to eat broth. My uncle also said I should eat noodles or some soft foods rather than rice or bread.
(I tried to meditate in my bed. 'Touch- Awareness- Mindfulness. Be mindful on only the touch of the air which goes in and out. Close your eyes, don't listen to any sound. Keep your mind on the tip of the nose,....etc')
(Drawing by Maung Yit)
I tried to sleep, but I couldn’t. The fever was still 37.2’Celsius. That was not so bad, I thought. Finally I decided to do meditation in my bed. It would help me to sleep. I breathed in and out for a while. Then I inhaled breathe and kept mindful on the sensation on my whole body especially on the hottest area - my feet and palms. But I was so restless in my bed. I closed my eyes and wandered.
(Sunlun Sayadaw U Vinaya, 'You can practice meditation at any place, at any time.')
I could sit still in the monastery during the time of meditation for 100 minutes. ...But why could I not do even a minute now? …..Former Sunlun Sayadaw U Vinaya said that we can practise meditation at any place, at any time. …..I also remembered Sayadaw U Wara said that we should be mindful on every touch when we walk, or whatever we do, or we sleep. …….Vipassana is mindful on every touch……..Watch the whole body…... Which part is the most painful? …….Well…. I could not do it because I was so sick, I argued…... Sensation is not stable as much as I am not stable…… When you are sitting, standing, walking, or any position,..... you will try to follow the sensation…… Have to realize that our body is impermanent. …. I tried to consider Sayadaws’s speeches.,,,,, I tried to follow Their instructions. …..But I still could not.
(Sunlun Sayadaw U Wara’ speeches, ‘... You should have to do meditation when you are young or while you have good health. So you have strength and you can bear the pain and can do well!...’)
The long and the short of the matter was, my fever was gone on the third day. But I was so weak. I even could not hold my phone for a long time. At that time I wanted to gain strength as quickly as possible. I still could not drive. My aunt gave me advice that I should have to eat eggs. I did not like eggs. Their smell was awful. But I need strength. Then I gave up my stubbornness. I swallowed boiled eggs with water.
After my recovery, I returned to do meditation at Sunlun. I now become healthy again. I still swallowed eggs every morning with water. I still was so scared to lose strength, and to be sick again. I could do meditation as long as I am strong enough, or as long as I am healthy.
(I swallowed boiled eggs with water and I was crying. I missed my mother very much. If she see me eating eggs, she would be very happy. I wanted to tell her that I now become a good daughter. I will be careful when eating outside foods from now on,... etc)
(Drawing by Maung Yit.)
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