To every meditation session, we had to sit cross-legs. Breathe hard for 50 minutes, and another 50 minutes for watching the sensation of pain, cramp, ache, numbness, heat or cold arisen in the body. For those total 100 minutes, we must not move a limb, or scratch, or pause or change position or open our eyes.
Since my mother passed away, I no more care the pain that occurs in my body during the time of meditation. I never moved nor changed position during sitting, however the pain overloaded. The sensation of mental longing for my mom is still suffering me. (Yes, it can not be cured, must be endured.) People may see me calm in my outer appearance even though I am smiling, but they would never know how my heart was deeply broken. They will never know my tears. I let them down free within my heart alone. Who knows, I would not dare to weep in front of my father? To cover my true feelings within my heart is now used to me. (And if I laugh at any mortal thing, 'Tis that I may not weep. (Lord Bryon.))
However time does not fly, I do my best to practice meditation at Sunlun Monastery every morning. One day I noticed that there were several ways of sitting cross-legs position in meditation. Then, my new adventure begins.
(A statue honoured Sunlun Sayadaw and Meditation Master U Vinaya.)
(We can learn His Sitting Cross-legs Position.)
The Meditation Masters and Sunlun Sayadaws U Vinaya, and U Wara always suggested that all the yogis should choose the sitting cross legs position as they liked, but it can stay still long until the time ends. You can move or change before the start, but you do not do anything as to move or to open your eyes, etc during the time of meditation.
(Buddha's Statue at Sunlun Monastery.)
Among the several ways of sitting cross-legs position in meditation, the way the Buddha’s Sitting Position in cross-legs is the most difficult. We can learn That Position at the pagoda everywhere by watching the Images of Buddha statues. I was told that my grandma, Khin Myo Chit (writer) always sat in the Cross-Legs Sitting Position when she practised meditation. I wanted to try it some day.
(Buddha's Image at Sunlun Campus under the Maha Bodhi Tree.)
I carefully watched the Cross-Legs Sitting Position of Buddha Images at Sunlun Campus. I studied in detail how Two Legs kept on both sides or which leg put after the other. At first, I tried to do it at home. But I could not sit long, because it was very painful from the start. After many attempts at home, I decided to try that cross-legs position at Sunlun monastery in the morning session on Tuesday. (Why Tuesday? Tuesday was my mother’s birthday.) Another reason was, there were two meditation masters there. One of them was very strict and watched us very attentively. I was afraid of him very much. I chose Tuesday because he was not coming on Tuesday. I feared if I was caught by him when I could not bear to sit still in That position.
('Don't move, don't change position, don't sleepy, don't think, don't open your eyes, etc'
The meditation master, he repeated these words all the time, and carefully watched all the yogis with high pay attention. I thought he did not rest all those 100 minutes.)
(Illustrated by Maung Yit.)
For 100 minutes sitting cross-legs position by the Way Buddha’s Sitting that I followed, the pain in my body was arising, and it was unbearable. The pain was increasing, and it seemed it would never stop. I could not bear to sit still. On the third day, I moved my legs to comfort my pain a little. During the time of sitting, I wanted to give up many times before the final bell rang. I finally realized that although the pain was unbearable, I could focus my pain in touch and awareness. No thought or no wondering was entering into my mind. It seemed good, but I could not do every day that sitting. I sometimes do That sitting at the monastery if I wanted to, but I was avoiding some significant days (you know which day I must avoid, huh?).
Then, I firstly hold my right leg to go free with my both hands.)
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